NFL Playoffs: Green Bay Packers 21, Philadelphia Eagles 16

NFL Playoffs: Green Bay Packers 21, Philadelphia Eagles 16

Blitz left.

Apparently, the solution to shutting down one of the most talented quarterbacks of all time is that simple. You can never truly shut Michael Vick down, of course, but you can reduce him to the play of a normal human being. Teams were put on notice early regarding Michael Vick following his out-of-this-world probing of the Washington Redskins.

Green Bay linebacker Clay Matthews took time off from eating live animals and terrorizing mountain villages to contribute a sack to the Packers’ successful containment of Michael Vick. Aaron Rodgers threw four touchdowns, but only received credit for three of them because wide receiver James Jones dropped a wide open touchdown pass, along with his dignity.

“I don’t care if we win, but we’re sure as hell going to chest bump!”: Green Bay cornerback Tramon Williams attempted to one-up his teammate on the blunder countdown following his game-winning interception. Williams ran to center field looking to spike the ball and chest bump a teammate without realizing he was not yet down by contact. Williams’ teammates instead tackled the confused defensive back preventing the possibility of the most hilarious blunder of all time.

VICK: Opinions differ greatly on the topic, but I feel slightly disappointed the Eagles didn’t advance. I have found myself rooting for Michael Vick amidst his resurgent season. Most individuals can’t quite make up their mind on Vick. He’s become a strong role model for children in the past year. You might let him mentor your kids, but you’d still likely hire a pet sitter during those times. The reason I support Vick in good conscience is that he is a rare individual who truly gets it. His grasp on the world around him compared to when he began in the NFL is astonishing. He paid the price for his actions and emerged on the other side with noticeable humility.

Let’s all burn some Wrangler jeans: Green Bay’s victory over Philadelphia was sponsored by the “Bret Favre Defamation Department.” The B.F.D.D. is in charge of taking John Madden’s man-crush out of the spotlight once and for all. Aaron Rodgers needs just two Super Bowl rings to surpass Favre’s career total. It’s almost impressive that Favre has become so annoying to the general public that we would accept a win by his former team simply to spite him.

One week of playoff action is officially in the books. We can expect an equally exciting week two of NFL action. We’re likely to see something we’ve never seen before. Be sure to check back on Wednesday for predictions on all of this coming weekend’s games.

Story by Jesse Jacobs of The Ballston Journal

Jesse Jacobs’ NFL Playoff Round-up:
Seattle Seahawks 41, New Orleans Saints 36
New York Jets 17, Indianapolis Colts 16
Baltimore Ravens 30, Kansas City Chiefs 7

1 Comment
  1. J Hunter says

    Love it, love it, LOVE it! “John Madden’s man-crush”! That is dead solid perfect. More please, Jesse!

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