NFL Playoffs: New York Jets 28, New England Patriots 21

Find out what happened when people stopped being polite and started getting real on MTV’s first ever NFL Playoff game. It marked the only football game in history where no football was actually played. Name calling and drama were called upon to fill the void. Everyone lost.

Braylon Edwards Does a Back Flip; Jets beat Patriots

I need no introduction, but allow me to introduce myself. I’m Braylon Edwards. Sometimes I tie my shirt around my back, exposing my abdominals before I run onto the field. I once hit 120 miles per hour on the highway. On occasion, I punch friends of Lebron James in the face. On Sunday, I did a back flip. The Saturday before that, I did another one. I’m generally a quiet and reserved person. I hate attention, and I try to steer clear of the spotlight. Unfortunately for me, I’m constantly newsworthy. Though I think I deserve a bit of indulgence since we did just win the Super Bowl.

“We won? Let’s all yell at reporters!” Braylon Edwards should be the Jets’ mascot. He is one of the many Jets with the uncanny ability to always say the wrong thing. Edwards’ teammate Antonio Cromartie kicked off last week’s mediathon with a profanity-laced tirade directed at Tom Brady. Brady came right back at Cromartie, with the always hurtful, “He’s a great player.” Though Brady didn’t hurt Cromartie’s feelings, he succeeded in making him look and presumably feel like an idiot. Jets linebacker Bart Scott continued to tirade following the Jets win, inexplicably yelling at ESPN reporter Sal Paolantonio. Scott yelled about the media disrespecting the Jets and noted that the Patriots “couldn’t stop a nosebleed.” Scott admitted to fatigue following an all-nighter spent writing that joke.

The Jets spoke loudly, but there is no denying their play spoke even louder. After a rusty first quarter, the Jets pressed their collective foot to the throat of New England. Rex Ryan was several steps ahead of Bill Belichick from a game-plan standpoint. Ryan’s cleverly designed blitzes tormented the Patriots on Sunday. The Jets offense moved the ball well also. Mark Sanchez threw three touchdown passes, while Shonn Greene and LaDainian Tomlinson moved the ball effectively on the ground. L.T. is essentially the anti-Jet. He’s very aware of the fact that he’s paid to play a game, and he’s lucky he was born with the talent to do so. He doesn’t view class or tact as burdensome. I would be fine with the Jets winning the Super Bowl just so that Tomlinson could get a championship ring before he retires. Of course, I would immediately eat my words following the release of an Antonio Cromartie rap called “We Are the Bleeping Champs,” featuring Braylon Edwards.

The New York Jets are rolling, but they have another tough opponent ahead of them next week in the Steelers. If I had to pick one word to predict next week’s AFC championship, it would be: violent. If the game goes to overtime, James Harrison and Bart Scott will head to opposite end zones and sprint to midfield before colliding headfirst. Whichever player can still move their toes wins the game for their team. It does seem that for the first time in a long time, the four best teams in football are left standing in the championship round of the playoffs.

Let’s keep the drama rolling, both on and off the field.

Story by Jesse Jacobs, who also writes for The Ballston Journal

FINAL SCORE: New York Jets 28, New England Patriots 21
JESSE’S PREDICTION: New England Patriots 34, New York Jets 10

WEEK ONE: Wild Card Playoffs
Seattle Seahawks 41, New Orleans Saints 36
New York Jets 17, Indianapolis Colts 16
Baltimore Ravens 30, Kansas City Chiefs 7
Green Bay Packers 21, Philadelphia Eagles 16

WEEK TWO: Divisional Playoffs
Divisional Playoff Predictions
Pittsburgh Steelers 31, Baltimore Ravens 24
Green Bay Packers 48, Atlanta Falcons 21
Chicago Bears 35, Seattle Seahawks 24

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