Best of 2011: Bowtie’s Top 11 Rants

11. “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is the sexiest Christmas song ever (not sure what the
competition is, though…)


9. Despite the sheer excellence of the Firlefanz Puppet Theater, puppet shows will never become a dominant form of entertainment.

8. Lady Gaga is really good at what she does. Perhaps Mother Maybelle Carter was the Lady Gaga of her time?

7. Traffic circles… they’re just wrong.

6. Did you know you needed Spotify before you didn’t have it? No, you didn’t. Now that you have it, can you live without it? No, you can’t. See, you don’t really know what you want.

5. James Brown’s Christmas album does not evoke visions of snow, a fireplace and a Christmas tree. It evokes visions of a sweaty man in a cape.

4. The Smart Car just doesn’t look safe… especially in a traffic circle.

3. Sleazy Troy politicians forging a few dozen absentee ballots… how pitifully, laughably pathetic is that? They should be sentenced to wearing short pants and a dunce cap.

2. Nippertown needs to be more edgy. It also needs more Parade of Shoes photos.

1. It’s too easy to make a CD/concert/movie/TV Top 10 list. At least a book list requires some work – if you actually read them. A list of your 10 Personal Favorite Transplant Surgeons shows real commitment.

by Bowtie, Nippertown contributor


Fred Rudofsky’s Top 10 Theater Concerts
Paste Magazine’s Top 20 New Bands
J. Eric Smith’s Top Album
Rolling Stone’s Top 10 Albums
Brian Patneaude’s Top 5 CDs
American Film Institute’s Top 10 Movies
Stanley Johnson’s Top 10 Concerts
Richard Brody’s Top Books
Sebastien Barre’s Best of the Year
New York Magazine’s Top 10 TV Shows
Fred Rudofsky’s Top 10 Bar/Club Gigs
Steve Nover’s Top 10 CDs
Greg Haymes’ Top Music Video
Paste Magazine’s Top 10 Albums
The New York Times’ Top 10 Books
Mike Hotter’s Top 10 Albums
Kirsten Ferguson’s Top 10 Live Cover Songs
The A.V. Club’s Top 10 Comedy Albums
Ed Conway’s Top 10 Concerts
The Los Angeles Times’ Top 10 Pop Albums
J Hunter’s Top 10 Live Shows
Mr. Eck’s Top 10 Albums
Richard Brody’s Top 10 Concerts
Mike Hotter’s Top 5 Songs
Fred Rudofsky’s Top 20 Albums
Greg Haymes’ Top 15 Theater Productions
Tim Livingston’s Top 5 Music DVDs
David Brickman’s Top 11 Art Exhibitions
J Hunter’s Top 10 Jazz CDs
Andrzej Pilarczyk’s Top 12 Concerts
Matt Mac Haffie’s Top 10 Albums
Shawn Stone’s Top 10 Movies
Timothy Reidy’s Top 10 Performances
Greg Haymes’ Top 13 Most-Listened-To Albums
Kirsten Ferguson’s Top 25 Songs
Gail Burns’ Top 5 Musical Theater Productions
Al Goldberg’s Top 5 CDs
Tim Livingston’s Top 6 Songs

  1. Greg says

    Re: #11. – Really? What about Eartha Kitt’s version of “Santa Baby”?

  2. Real Gone 2011 says

    Eatha Kitt, in the Catwoman suit, singing Santa Baby.

  3. Fred says

    Great rant, Bowtie.

  4. LP says

    No….I don’t want to purchase the extended warranty….
    Thanks……I’ll eat it here.

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