The Wedding Singer: Vendors – We’re All in This Together, Kind Of
After this summer I decided I’m going to become a wedding coordinator. I’m not kidding. I’m going to add it to my list of services. Honestly, I do A LOT of it when I talk to couples. And on the day of I feel like I’m running the show, sometimes. The caterer asks me questions. The photographer asks me questions. The wedding coordinator asks me questions. I feel like I’m the only one who knows what’s going on and I can’t cook or take pictures so coordinator it is.
If you’re going to do the work, you might as well get paid for it. Besides, I’m a control freak so this is the natural next step.
I have worked with some really great vendors. We typically hit it off immediately. We have a “we’re in this together” mentality like we’re going into battle against the wedding party and are outnumbered so we must stick together at all costs! In fact, it sucks when a vendor is nasty because it makes everyone’s day that much more difficult.
And I’m not here to talk shit about wedding coordinators but I have heard the most complaints about them from brides. More often than not they’ve been great! At the very least they’ve been very personable. But getting an email at the 11th hour asking me for wedding day minutiae does not inspire confidence. Like who do I ask, then, if you don’t have your shit together? The answer is ‘no one’ because I GOT THIS.
And I am NOT difficult when I am asked. I am quite helpful. I’m annoyed AF but they’ll never know (unless they read this).
Beyond wedding coordinators the other vendors there that day are as follows:
- Caterer
- Venue manager
- Photographer
- Maybe a videographer
- Florist (they’re GONE before the shit starts. Don’t ask them anything. Ever. They can’t help you)
Caterers are usually the hardest for us to get along with. I don’t know why that is. Ultimately, they have one of the more difficult tasks. I know how I get during the holidays when I’m serving 12 people. The timing of everything makes me nuts. I want it all to come out edible, hot, and perfect. But if you get two out of three then Merry Fucking Christmas.
Our biggest issue with them is that we need to eat pretty early so we are ready to play when the couple is ready to dance. I always hate bringing this up because, even though it makes total logical sense to me, I know somehow it also makes me sound like a diva. And because I’m worried about that I dance around it and get awkward. “I know it sounds silly but…..” It’s not silly. I’m not suggesting we eat first! We don’t even have to have the same food as everyone else! But we CANNOT be served LAST! These caterers say it like it’s a code. Like robots. “Vendors eat last.” Like it’s “GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE”.
Here’s why that doesn’t work.
7:00 pm Bride and Groom get served.
7:15-7:45pm 100+ guests get served. Bride and Groom finish eating.
8:00 pm vendors get served. Bride cries because she wants to dance but can’t because Erin’s mouth is full of steak.
8:13 band takes the stage hastily with greasy fingers and full tummies and plays some lethargic top 40.
I bring my own food, usually. Just in case.
I always get along with the photographer. At worst, they’re a little odd. But they’re always very easy to work with. “I won’t let them have the parent dances if you’re not in the room, and you make sure to get my good side.”
Then there are venue managers. They’re all over the place. Some good. Some bad. Some doing it all. Some doing the bare minimum. You never know until you get there. There was one in particular that will always have my heart, but I’ll have to leave that for next week…please note sarcasm…
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